Friday, January 20, 2012

Journal 25: the egg mcmuffin of journals about fear

This being the third journal I have been assigned about fear, I am beginning to grow frustrated. One can only write about a single subject for so long before it has been beaten to death, and there remains nothing more to be said. It might be a it easier if the assignment had been more specific, like the previous two were, but no, I am merely to write about fear in some sense or other.

Do not misunderstand me though, I really do appreciate the feeling of fear. Like sadness, it is one of those rare feelings that can completely fill a person without any other feelings mixed with it. Happiness is rarely ever complete and perfect, there is always something bitter, or something missing in it. With fear, and even more so with sadness, the feeling is found frequently without anything to mar it. I would suppose this is because of all feelings, happiness is the most easily forgotten. Although this happens little with fear, in sadness the perfection gives it beauty, and the beauty of it causes me to be happy (which is a little bit confusing, considering the jist of what I just said was a lack of happiness makes me happy).

That brings me around to something that troubles me from time to time. Why is it people always forget me when I do not make sure to remind them I exist? Does that happen to everyone, or just to me? In one relationship I was in, the guy promised he would call me back the next day or the day after, but it would happen that the next time I spoke to him was a week later when I called him. He said he just forgot about it. In another, a friend of mine would tell me he would talk to tomorrow, only to call me a month later. Is it just me? Am I just so uninteresting and plain that people cannot seem to keep me in mind? You can see why this bothers me.

1 comment:

  1. Fear is much more of a psychological factor than being scared or being spooked by something. It can gnaw at your mind and become a debilitating phobia.

    By the way, if a guy "forgets" to call you for a while, take into consideration that it's most likely an issue with him, not you.